Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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