Why does Corona taste like a burp?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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