i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
