It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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