Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
