is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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