i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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