Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
