we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize