Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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