ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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