everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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