Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The Olympian is in my bed
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
