Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
