Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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