Apparently you make a good broom.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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