Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
