I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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