I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize