I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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