All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
