just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
