I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
