And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
