his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
