I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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