Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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