The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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