dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I am one with the molecules
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
