I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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