I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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