I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i just had sex bonerless
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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