So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
