im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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