just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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