p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
