this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
