You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
