that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
