JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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