no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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