idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize