just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
