Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
