So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize