Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I am spending my child support on dildos
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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