My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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