Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it was like eating out sand paper
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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