My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Mom said you looked used
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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