I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we made out on top of his cat.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
