I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
