what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
