is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
