no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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