You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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