I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
