I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
