Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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