Sry I called you an 8
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
