no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
