She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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